(works.)

Through ______ weakness

(2020)






I told Ying a few days ago that I haven't kept a diary for a long time. The last time I wrote is "June diary" in London. At that time, I didn't want to record anything, or I knew that I had changed. Except for the specific writing topic, I no longer recorded.

I don't want to be kidnapped by my diary and be the person in the diary. And, look forward, not backward.

Until now, I have broken through many of the essential limitations of personality, such as keep unfinished things, evasion, cowardice, and having nothing to do with myself. In the end, I didn't need to pick up it individually to correct it; I stand up the line with my heart, my mind and body, to place myself on the correct line without doubts and feeling tremble. Keep breathing and feel the body is stable..




前幾天我跟Ying說,我已經很久沒有寫日記了,上次連續寫的是在倫敦的六月日記。當時也不是真的想紀錄什麼,而是我很明白自己已經變了,除了專題有關、依照某些目的之外我已經不再紀錄了。

我說:我不想被自己的日記綁架,成為日記裡的那個人。以及,往前看,不再往後。


到現在為止,我突破了很多個性上原有的限制,例如三分鐘熱度、做事情不持久、逃避、懦弱、事不關己等等,我把這些當作是修行在做,一項一項面對,到最後發現也不需要個別抓出來修正,而是從最根本的心、腦、、身體都擺在正確的線上面,就像站在騰空的線,為了不讓自己摔下來應該怎麼做,穩穩地踩上去不要懷疑,踩上去後別亂動,深呼吸,感覺身體穩定。大概就是這種感覺。